I have almost worked at my current job for a year. I am very tired and can understand why a lot of people lose themselves after working in a job that is both time consuming and unsatisfying for an extended period of time. I get the sense that I am slowly dissolving. I am Marty McFly and my hand is disappearing and it's only a matter of time before my entire arm is gone. Where is my ambition?
I'm going to write a poem a day. Accountability. If you want something, become it? I have an idea of the person/writer/musician I would eventually like to be. Becoming that/those is as simple as a forceful acceptance. I am accepting the fact that to become something I will have to work harder than I ever have. I am accepting the fact that prioritizing my life needs to be my biggest priority. How much time have I wasted fucking myself up on my free time? Something 24 years of life has taught me: All parties are essentially the same, especially if you have lived in the same town for over five years. Same people therefore same faces. Same drinks. Same conversations. Same same same same same same same.
Being creative IS difficult when you are so tired at the end of the day. HOWEVER, creativity is not dependent on anything other than an act. The simple act of DOING. I think I write at work because I feel guilty for not writing as much as I think I should while at home. It's so easy to take naps. It's so easy to watch 24 with your roommates. Everything is simple. Even LOVE!
I am anything.
"If you look close enough you can't tell where my nose ends and space begins." -Bernard Jaffe (I Heart Huckabees)
What I'm trying to say is prepare yourself for an explosion. I'm still here. I'll be around. My face is always here.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
For some reason this post isn't allowing me to comment on my main page. That annoys me. I'm trying to fix it so I can comment on my main page. I'm annoyed with things that aren't in their proper places.
Post a Comment