stein stein stein!

http://minnesota.publicradio.org/display/web/2008/12/12/steinopera/

My friend Anthony moved away.

I'm not going home for Christmas.

I think that tonight, Christmas Eve, will be a relieving experience. Sometimes just giving in to things is so much easier. Why be principled? Why even care about things? I thought indifference would lead to a more "open to experience" attitude, and in some ways it has. I guess involvement is sort of overwhelming. I am reserved to a certain place.

I watched Home Alone last night. I watched Home Alone 2 last week. Try getting through the second Home Alone, I dare you. The first Home Alone is timeless, well made, dare I say original. Rehashing is always annoying, writing things that hit with an audience the first time around for a second time just to solicit a similar response is dishonest. I suppose one could argue that within the first script, the repeated, outrageous scream scenes were sort of put in for the same reason, and they probably were. Held within itself, within the same entity, however, just plays differently. I'll call it endearing.

Things I'm currently/would like to be working on:

- poems (writing, reading, editing)
- screen play
- critical essays on the movie "Me and You and Everyone We Know" and Do Make Say Think's song, "Bound to Be That Way"
- organizing my things

Alcohol does not make me a more interesting person/writer. I get loud and sad when I drink, sometimes both at the same time. The context in which one alters him/herself greatly influences the results produced. My context is uncertainty. I roll the dice every time.

I guess I'm more interested in the process of things themselves rather than the actual thing, that includes a poem. I've been reading so many poor poems lately. Their focus is on experience and telling a tale. Fuck stories. Your biography is uninteresting, I don't care how interesting it is. Your writing is the experience I want. That's what I'd like to produce for you as well.

I probably wont even sing tonight, but I'll wish the entire time I could. We'll drive and look at lights like everyone else and be everyone else. I need to call my mom tonight and tomorrow. She'll like that.