onces of coca-cola and a bladder full of noise

I purchased my Sigur Ros ticket. The 27th of September. Red Rocks. This will be my third time seeing them and I am hoping it will be more satisfying than the last time. I hope it will be chilly and am looking forward to a frosty evening on the rocks.

I was having a conversation earlier with someone who is interested in publishing a book of mine and/or a collaborative effort by Rachael and myself. He asked me which one I was more interested in and I couldn't really answer.

I'm interested in the collaborative effort more so out of some sort of aesthetic principle than anything else--i.e. destruction of self through the mashing together of others. This made me think about when I read Justin and Jeff a poem and Justin told me that my ego was out of my writing which made me write "The Ship" (which still isn't finished and still has blow jobs). I started thinking about approaches to writing a book and why I have so many reservations about a solo book. I am not interested in politics nor am I interested in a society's problems in relation to myself in general when writing a poem.

But there is something inherently political with my ideas about writing and my reservations regarding conventional approaches to putting something together like a book. It's not a conscious struggle against anything because I'm against anything, per se, rather it is a struggle against something because I am uninterested in it. The politics of language is something that interests me, not the politics of society. Can the two be separated? Where does a politics of language come from if not society itself--its conventions and such? I don't want to be Charles Bernstein and definitely have severe reservations regarding L-A-N-G-U-A-G-E poetry, but it certainly has a level of appeal that is wonderful and troubling at the same time. I guess these are the kinds of things that validate my continuing decision to put of grad school. I'd like to understand myself and my writing more. I feel like I would if I wrote more. I'd like to write more and have my friends help me with what the hell I'm trying to say or trying not to say.

What night would work for people regarding the resurgence of writer's group? I feel like we all could use some sort of accountability, especially those of us who are no longer in school.

It's raining, I think (I have no windows in my office), and I have to ride my bike home to feed my cats. I wish someone would come and pick me up, but she's not answering her phone and I've got grease stains on my khakis from my bike chain and I know that the back of my shirt has spots on it from the water coming up from my bike's back wheel this morning. It's alright. I'm alright. I'm alright.

Yeah.

I am.